Embrace the Journey: Bad Karma Happens

First outing in a Lyonaise Bouchon

Our big trip to France then Italy to start the Mediterranean Cruise was suddenly here. Since I don’t travel so much anymore and have health issues to manage, travel is really a big deal. I love everything about travel. I find it to be empowering, exhilarating, and worthy of documenting. 

We work with a travel agent to do the detail work and keep us straight. We trust her advice on everything. Usually, everything is perfect.

Embrace the Journey: You've Got to Want it!

In Annapolis 2021

It's been almost two years since I fell and fractured my hip. My recovery seems to be complete. I don't have pain anywhere and I feel like I'm close to where I was physically before the fall. Now with the foot operation being successfully completed, walking feels wonderful. 

The fall seems like a long time ago. It was, two years. Last year, 2021 I was trying to do "normal". We traveled, we helped  Liz, Philippe and Loleh move. We played with them for three months before they moved to France. It was a whirlwind year. The elusive "walking" was always lurking as a goal in my mind. This story is really about how I wanted "it" too much too quickly in 2020.

The Covid shut down was another factor. I didn't see my usual team of therapist until mid summer. I did what I thought best, not listening to my body or my doctor. Finally, Body said, "I'm done! Enough of this. You have pushed me over the edge so, I'll just shut down."  

Walker back in action

When Body gets like that, there is no negotiating. Walker was happy to come out of retirement. We became good friends again. Walker made me feel good and safe. My lower body, hips and legs were in too much pain to walk without support of upper body. 

I created this bad place. Doing my own rehab was not good. The short walks were fine. We would drive to the bottom of the driveway to start on the pavement. I needed Donnie’s hand for balance and support. By the end of the summer of 2020,  I had graduated to walking down the driveway. 

Walking up the driveway

Our driveway is challenge under normal conditions. It's steep, long (.01 mi.),  and made of shifty, gravel. When I wanted to go farther, Donnie would always remind me, "Don't forget we have to go back up the driveway." When it's hot and I'm tired, that hill is a demon. Doing the whole route of two miles was my goal. 

Getting adjustment from Dr. Keifer

Walking was fine, but I decided adding weighs would help me achieve my goal quicker. Body probably went on strike when I did one of my usual leg, core, or upper body weight exercises that I wasn't ready to do. Doing hot yoga seemed to be going well, but the weights were too much for Body. The pain factor dictated an emergency visit to my chiropractor.

Suddenly, my life revolved around fixing this pain problem. I was going two and three times per week for chiropractic treatments. At home, I did ice therapy several times a day. I eliminated yoga and walking for a week. Week two I was able to add walking and hot yoga. I didn't try adding weights until I consulted my physical therapist. Finally after a month, I could retire Walker again.

Walking on our usual route

The sad truth is that the whole body has to recover from injuries. I've learned this the hard way. I also acknowledge that age and MS contribute to how long it takes me to fully recover. Two years later, I am close to where I was before the fall. The goal of walking 2 miles has been achieved, but not consistently. It's still elusive. My new trainer Jeanne is giving me exercises and the strategies needed to increase stamina, endurance, and pace. Finally, I feel like I'm going to maybe go beyond that 2 mile goal and do it consistently. The best part is that my hips and legs don't feel exhausted when I finish.

Maybe working toward another goal of seeing grandson Loleh and walking miles and miles around Lyon, France was just the incentive I needed. The body is amazing. Hot yoga teaches that the body is good at healing itself. That's true but, it heals on its own time, not mine.  I wanted "it" quickly and imposed my own rules. What I got was a lot of pain. I know now that Body rules.  I am trying to be more mindful, but in case I irritate Body again, I'm still good friends with Walker. 

Embrace the Journey: Life is Fragile

Me at age 16, when I had Mono

How can this be? How did I get Multiple Sclerosis? I pondered that question many years. My explanation for all this time has been because of a bad case of Mononucleosis I had Senior Year of high school. 

That seemed reasonable because research at that time postulated that MS might be linked to a severe childhood disease. Hence, Mono weakened my immune system and allowed the virus to fester.

Me age 50 when diagnosed

For twenty years, I have used this bad case of Mono to explain how I thought I got MS. Now, science has established a link to the Epstein-Barr virus. aka Mononucleosis. My sister Penni who lives in Boston sent me an article from The Boston Globe, dated Monday, January 17, 2022 about this development. 

A group of researchers from MIT secured access to the military data base at Walter Reid Institute of Research. This huge population offered a high number of incidents they tracked over time. This gave the study tremendous credibility. The article compared this data base to the power of the Hubble Telescope. 

Tracking and monitoring Army recruits over twenty to thirty years was the key. Many recruits enlist in their late teens. If they got  Mono, like I did, MS symptoms would show up in their thirties or forties. Identifying and following these symptoms over such a long time was the key to establishing the link.

Hiking in California

I didn't have any issues in my twenties and thirties. I felt fine, had plenty of energy and didn’t have any major issues. I was in my mid forties when I began noticing irregularities with balance, walking, talking, vision decision making and thinking.   

Even then, I didn't slow down. After some near falls on steps, I became more careful. I was in my late forties when I noticed that I was bumping into people who were walking beside me. I would get so provoked! I blamed the other person for not walking straight. 

I traveled a lot in my job and drove all over the state. I started having problems staying awake while driving even in the morning after good sleep. I would chew gum, drink water, open the windows, sing with the radio. Still, I never thought to get checked. What finally got my attention was feeling weak with while walking on the beach. The sun was bearing down and it was hot. I was literally dragging my right foot through the sand. That’s when I pledged to talk with my doctor. 

After diagnosis I learned more about MS symptoms. I learned about typical symptoms of MS in cognitive, physical, physiological and psychological areas. I realized I should have been paying attention to recurring issues. The recurring yeast infections, frequent UTI’s were not normal. The stiffness in my joints, pain in my hips and jerky walking and headaches were not normal. I didn't acknowledge fatigue and muscle weakness. I think the most noticeable issue was my legs being out of control after about two miles of walking. My right leg was swinging way out and impossible to control. I wish I had paid better attention to physical issues. Maybe I would have sought help and been diagnosed sooner.

More fun cruising

The Globe article explained that brain inflammation is a common side effect of viral infections. It said that the millions of people who are living with what they call Long COVID are examples of inflammation. Red Flag! With MS, lesions form from inflammation on the brain causing issues around the body. I hope we won’t hear about high incidents of neurological issues from people who had Covid 19 twenty years from now.

Life is fragile. Sometimes recurring issues are not normal. My hope is that my story helps identify red flags. 

My personal goal is to live life to the max every day, take care of myself and stay vigilant.  I told Donnie recently, “I’m glad you are as committed to my health and your health as I am. We have things to do and I like doing them with you! Do you think we will live as long as  Mama, and Bucky and ‘V’? If we do, I hope we have our mind in tact like Bucky and Mama did. I do need to watch for falling. No more falls no COVID!”. 

Embrace the Journey: Help Where You Can

Screen shot of members 

 Lately, I have been wondering, “Why do I keep doing Toastmasters? There’s too many problems!"

In Four Seasons Toastmasters, we've already had two Presidents this year. Most recently, President Karen died suddenly. If it's not leadership, it's membership. So I ask myself, "Why do I keep doing this? Does anybody care about those minutes I do every Friday? I’m proud to get them up on our Toastmaster Blog so maybe that's enough. Hmmm. I’m actually challenged to see how interesting I can make them and how quickly  I can post  them. I sometimes get supportive feedback too." 

Embrace Your Destiny: Prepare for Dementia

Pictures before the workshop

Is it true? Just because I have MS, I am subject to Dementia? Sure, I sometimes can't recall names and misplace items. But, that's a huge leap to dementia!  The Alzheimer/ dementia experts say that it's true.

Molly Garnett, Chaplain at Pardee Hospital and Elder at Trinity Presbyterian Church conducted a two part Learning Hour program for caregivers. We  listened in denial as the Alzheimers and Dementia experts explained the issues. Then, as attendees shared personal experiences, the reality became clear. At the end, we acknowledged that dementia is a huge, unrecognized and under serviced issue.

The number of people being diagnosed everyday with either Dementia or Alzheimers was shocking. Added to that umbrella are people like me who have a neurological diseases, like Multiple Sclerosis or Parkinson's Disease. But that's not all! The big number also includes stroke victims, loss of hearing and eyesight and other chronic medical conditions. Caregivers, are vulnerable too.     Seniors! Beware

Embrace Your Destiny: The Future is Promising

Mealtime with Loleh 

Being on “hold” is so frustrating. We were “on hold” for two and a half months. The whole family has coped well, rallying around the spirit and joy of baby Loleh. While we enjoyed having time with Liz and family, everybody was ready to move on. Liz and Philippe to France and us right here.

This waiting saga started when Liz’s work Visa didn't come and didn't come. Finally it came after a three month wait. Next task was to get airplane tickets.

Liz said, “We got tickets leaving from Asheville next Thursday. Can you take us to the airport around noon?”

Poirot likes my office chair

Donnie said, “Of course! Are you really leaving from Asheville! That's amazing.” Of course, Liz’s Visa was not the end of challenges and waiting. 

During the three month wait, health papers for Poirot, the cat expired. New crisis! We had to find a USDA qualified veterinarian to do a rush certification for a new customer and turn it around from USDA in Washington almost overnight. It was overwhelming. All of our spirits sank to a new low. Up and down again.

Daily yoga practice rebooted my spirits and my body. I would have been a basket case physically, mentally and psychologically. Every morning we set the alarm early enough to do yoga. It’s that important.

Morning yoga in my space

When I get up in the morning, I check in with my body. “What’s going on shoulder? Did I sleep on you wrong? Hip? What’s your deal today? You’ve been being stiff, but you seem worse today. Let’s hope yoga can fix you up. Self, what’ is going on with your sad mind? Why are you sad today? I’m sorry but that’s unacceptable. Let’s have an attitude adjustment during yoga. It can happen if you are open minded.”

We have a favorite yoga YouTube video for hot yoga. We practice with Ron from a studio in Delray Beach. By the time he finishes the four warm-up postures, my shoulders and hips say, “We are doing better. What issues?We are fine now.”

By the time we are on the floor for the first sevasana, I am mellow.  I let go.

Daily walks with Loleh 

Being "on hold" is a distant memory now. I have pictures to remind me of happy times walking with Loleh, playing with Loleh and watching him change everyday. That was very special. 

We are into a different realm of virtual hugs, quick visits on What'sApp, and text messaging to stay connected. We miss them and that special time. However the future is bright. We have a trip planned to see them next Spring. While Loleh is getting stronger, I will be too. My expectation is that he will have fond memories of his time in the country playing with Grandma and Grandpa. His experience here when he visits will be so different than in Paris. We are hopeful he will pester his parents to come visit often!

Embrace Your Destiny: Enjoy the Moment

Bath time leads to nap time

“Goodnight Loleh. We had a great time today. Tomorrow, we’ll play some more. Grandma loves you.” 

After another big day, this is our nightly ritual. Daughter Liz, Philippe and Loleh are staying with us short term while they wait and wait on Liz's French work Visa. Our nightly prize is when Liz brings Loleh after his bath, all squeaky clean to say "goodnight". 

Everyday we wait expectantly to hear, “All aboard for Paris.” When Liz’s Visa comes, they will leave for Paris to live. All the work is done. The packing, moving, and unpacking were completed in two weeks. Their cars have come back to us so title transfers had to be handled. Now we are into “enjoy every moment” mode. We have a short wish list of projects and activities we hope to do before they leave. We got to visit Donnie’s 99 year old mother, in Reidsville and we are playing bridge with "Uncle Bob".  But, time is flying by!

Embrace Your Destiny: Road Tripping - Part 2

 

Donnie and Loleh playing

At the intersection of varied interests and perfect location is where the Conner and Groff families vacationed together for three days. This perfect setting was Loon Mountain Resort in New Hampshire, sister Penni’s family condo. We enjoyed beautiful scenery, hiking, shopping, exercise and relaxing. The best part was having family to help us celebrate our fiftieth anniversary.

We had four days of exploration. Here’s the daily breakdown:

• Wednesday - Burlington, Vermont and UV
• Thursday - Flume Gorge
• Friday - The Cog Railroad 
• Saturday - Day trip to Littleton

Embrace Your Destiny: Enjoy Road Tripping - Part 1

First stop, Annapolis, MD

“Go! Right now you can make it. Hurry. Stomp on the gas, now! Yeah! We made it. Missing this exit is not an option. You handled crossing three lanes nicely.”

We had been in heavy, stop and go traffic for hours. The sign announcing our final route appeared for just a moment. No notice, but I saw it. After we exited the freeway and crossed the bridge into Annapolis the landscape instantly changed from chaotic to calm. Our fiftieth anniversary trip was about to begin.

This was our first serious road trip in years. When we finally cleared our path to take the trip, I said, “Donnie, can we stop in Annapolis that first weekend going up? I’ve been wanting to go there a long time. I just read a story in  Southern Living about where to eat, what to do and all the history. Seems like it should be about halfway to Medfield.” Donnie surprised me when he was all in.

Embrace Your Destiny: Flower Therapy

Bob picking for an order

Brother Bob grows the most magnificent flowers. He and sister-in-law Judy have always said, “Anytime you want flowers, just ask.” Why I never thought to “just ask” for weekly fresh flowers before, I don’t know. 

When we first moved back home in 2012, I helped Judy in the garage preparing flowers for wholesale or retail. For me, this was a course in  Flowers 101. I learned how to care for them, how to prolong freshness and how to arrange. Judy was patient, thorough, and creative. Bob grows the flowers, but Judy was and still is the glue that keeps their business, Poppins Posies going. I always had flowers those summers.

Embrace Your Destiny: Embrace Aging

In Hawaii late 1990's

Wouldn’t it be nice to age without aging? Maturity and wisdom that come with age are great. It’s the physical body breaking down that is troubling. With each new decade some new issue shows up. The bones and feet continue to break down. Throw in a fall and break something or have a bad illness and everything goes sideways.