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| Retired and happy |
For me, having MS was the beginning of a long journey. I lost my identity then I retired soon after. I learned about MS and managed me while the future unfolded. Through it all, I never gave away control. I never lost sight of my powers of choice, positive thinking, and managing myself. I couldn’t anticipate all the challenges but I knew that self confidence and determination would carry me through.
Self confidence develops over time but starts with our genetic make-up. It’s acquired through practice and having little successes. Success builds on success. We read cues from many different people and situations. We discover our strengths and interests through social, academic and sports experiences. Positive feedback boosts us up while negative takes us down. The MS diagnosis was worse than a negative input. I felt lost, unsure about everything and really confused.
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| Strengthening body |
I needed to regain my self confidence. I was good at my work, but I was at the end of my career in NC Cooperative Extension. While working I kept the swagger in my walk and appeared to be normal. The symptoms weren’t too noticeable early on.
Retirement became complicated with the MS diagnosis. I didn’t realize how much of my identity and self confidence was linked to work. It took about fifteen years to figure that out put me back together.
Learning to be comfortable with my body and what it could do was a key to regaining self confidence. Walking was my constant indicator. When I noticed any decline in walking stride or pace, I doubled down to fix it. Sometimes, my doctor would recommend change of drug therapy. I asked him to expand my use of Physical Therapy.
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| Walking gives me confidence |
Feeling more confident physically really boosted my self confidence. I felt good about getting involved in community service. I found my niche working with people and developing volunteers. Both my self image and self confidence improved, and then we moved back home to the mountains.
Self confidence is tricky. It rises and falls as situations change. The move home put me in a dive, but I knew how to build it up again. This time I had specific goals to improve my oral speaking and write my memoir. I joined Toastmasters and found my Memoir Group. Both groups have shaped, energized and improved me.
Anything that makes you feel good about yourself and that you enjoy doing will build your self confidence. You be the expert, set an example for others to follow. Perfection isn’t necessary. Helping yourself is enough.
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| Keep the journey going |
MS doesn’t go away. It’s a journey. I know that self confidence and the power of me has made a difference in my well being. For 25 years I’ve addressed issues as they arise. Walking well gives me confidence in my capable body. My trainer and physical therapist help me identify and strengthen the weak muscles.
You may have to dig deep inside to access the power of you, but it’s there. The journey of managing MS needs you to use your power of self confidence to be the best you can be.
