Embrace Your Destiny: Consider What's Possible

 

Walking up driveway

I am obsessed with walking. It’s true. Actually, I have been obsessed for a long time. What I want is comfortable, effortless walking. I remember what it felt like and occasionally, I feel close to that. I started noticing my walking way back before I knew I had MS. By the time I was diagnosed, I had to think about walking constantly.

For twenty years I have been identifying problems. These are the big ones:

 

1. Walking straight without listing to the left.  

2. Picking up my right toe. Flexing the right ankle  

3. Relaxing my shoulders to swing my arms naturally  

4. Looking right and left while walking  

5. Controlling the hyperextended knee 

6. Controlling the toe from kicking out 

PT session with Thomas

Thomas Minton, my Physical Therapist has helped me work on these specific issues. He has been helping me for seven years. Finally, I feel more natural walking most of the time. My knee flexes in coordination with my ankle and foot. I can look right and left and talk at the same time.

 

So, my goals have shifted to focus on improving strength, speed and distance. I use my I-phone heart app to keep track of my progress. Everyday is different. Improvement is slow.

Our driveway is scary. It’s gravel and steep. Going down and up is challenging. I have fallen walking down. Sometimes the gravel slips and slides underfoot. It's easy to get overbalanced when I am not paying attention. I prefer to wait for Donnie to hold onto going down, but occasionally I’ll be audacious and start going down alone. But, I concentrate on each step. “Thomas said to go slow and take small steps. Do the zigzag. This feels okay so far but the slippery area is approaching. Slow down more; take smaller steps. Good, I hear Donnie coming. I’ll just wait here.”

A cool morning walk

Today the temperature was perfect for a morning walk. There was a slight breeze and not hot yet. When I get hot, the nerves literally melt. My leg muscles feel exhausted, heavy and limp.

I wanted to see how I would feel taking a longer morning walk. We had already done hot yoga and then I did a strength workout. When we started I was dubious about meeting my goal. I thought, “Legs, I’m sorry about the workout. Did we do too much? You are already complaining. Well, let's see what you can do.”

The more we walked the better legs seemed to feel. We walked a little beyond where we sometimes turn around. Donnie looked at his watch and said, “We should turn around. Look at the time.” 

I did and said, “Let’s go a little bit farther. I’d like to see if I can make two miles.” After we turned around, I talked to legs again. “I’m impressed. You feel okay right now. Maple Swamp hill will be challenging. It's okay if you start complaining. I expect that so I'll help by concentrating." 

Satisfied rest and water on front porch

That’s when I double down talking to legs. “You’re doing great! I have only noticed a few toe taps, right leg. Left leg, stay strong. This hill is always tough but it’s all downhill after we reach the crest in just a few more strides. We’ll stop for water when we get to the top. It's not much farther and then the big push up the driveway. Don't make Donnie get the car for a rescue. We can do this!”

My distance is slowly increasing. Confidence in my stride is coming back. I know I can walk by myself, where it’s safe. How far I can go at one time is evolving. What I like is feeling empowered and strong each time I beat my distance goal. I like knowing I can handle myself when traveling. And, I like feeling the strength training kicking in. I’ll keep checking my distance average on the I-phone app. I won’t set a limit on what’s possible. Who knows what the next milestone will be? I’m open to all possibilities.

Embrace Your Destiny: Track Your Progress

The aging process plus the diagnosis of Primary Progressive MS is a recipe for change in the wrong direction. According to data I have read, I should be on a slow, steady decline. I refuse to accept that fate. The only way I know to determine if I’m going forward or backward on this journey is to document specific tasks and track them from year to year. Since I do feel and walk better than I did twenty years ago, I think I am going forward. 

Looking back over this past year, I can say these things about my body and how it works better than last year at this time:

• My posture is better especially when I am tired.
• I can get up off the floor with more control and agility.
• I do many yoga postures better.
• I get dressed quicker because I step into my pants with greater ease.
• My walking is more fluid with less limp when I get fatigued.
• Getting in and out of the car is easier and doesn't hurt as much.
• Standing in the kitchen while cooking doesn't make my legs feel fatigued.

Plank for 1 minute

You may wonder, what has contributed to these changes. Good question. From all I have read about MS and other neurological diseases, the mind and body work most effectively when the process is coordinated, consistent, intentional, focused on the right things and done mindfully. Two years ago I noticed that my yoga practice was improving but the strength I needed to get into and hold postures was lacking. That’s when I decided to go back to the gym and get a trainer. I believe the work with my new trainer, Evan Camby has taken my walking and overall strength to a better place. Together, the yoga and strength training have facilitated the specific improvements I listed.

My husband, Donnie says he has noticed a big improvement in my mental acuity. He say I process information faster, which is reflected in smoother, more fluid speech. Mental sharpness has been of concern to me from the beginning. This year I have noticed focus and concentration are improved. I was President of Four Seasons Toastmasters which gave me weekly practice in leading, initiating change, making impromptu speeches, coordinating and giving programs.  I believe I work as hard on this part of my journey as the physical and I believe I see results. Here are the activities I do regularly to work on my mental sharpness:

• Piano lessons and practice everyday.
• Puzzles work everyday; word puzzles, picture puzzles, math puzzles.
• Study and practice French everyday using the Duolingo free app on my phone.
• Attend Toastmasters every week to practice speaking and leadership.
• Plan and execute parties and other events.
• Memoir writing weekly.
• Accept speaking engagements. 

Physiologically, I feel great 90% of the time. Headaches are not a problem now. I may have one once a month and Ibuprofen takes care of it. My energy level is nice so that I can do most everything I plan everyday. I give credit to diet and exercise for these improvements It seems like the more I do, the more I feel like doing.

It’s been a while since I talked about diet. I still drink a 16 ounce juice once a day, courtesy of my juice lady Katie Flannagan and Green Heart Juice. I also make bone broth and consume a half cup of that everyday. The rest of my diet includes lots of vegetables, salads, canned tuna and salmon, beans of all kinds fixed all different ways, smoothie for breakfast, and nuts. I’m monitoring the effect of gluten, cheese and sugar on joint inflammation. Recently I have observed that certain postures in yoga are not fully available the morning after eating gluten and cheese. I am following principles from The Wahl Diet and others that incorporate whole foods and plant based foods.

I look at this journey with MS as a challenge to maintain an  an active lifestyle. This work is my job. I still have lots of things to improve. My goal is to stay healthy, mentally sharp, involved with life and learning and to keep improving. Yes, it takes time, planning and some dedication. That is okay with me. I’ll do whatever it takes as long as I see changes going in a positive direction instead of backward.

Embrace Your Destiny: Practice What You Love!

Several of our yoga teachers have said that often people start Hot 26 to look better, but they keep up their practice because of the mind benefits.  Both reasons work for me. MS puts me on the edge of stress all the time. In the moment, I can feel stress building up. My reaction of anger, fear, anxiety or whatever is way over the top of what it should be. This is definitely one of the day to day symptoms of MS that require a management strategy. For me, Hot 26 is my ticket to feeling calm as well as feeling good physically all day. I prefer practicing this yoga daily, but sometimes life gets in the way. Lucky for me, I love doing it and especially love the way I feel after class and the rest of the day.