Embrace Your Destiny: Time Travel Back

Taken in 2019 in Arizona

I thought it would be fun to travel back in time to talk with young me. Here is some of our  conversation:

“Hey young Judy, do you recognize me? You will be me in twenty years. Sorry about this diagnosis of MS you just received. I remember feeling sad and like my life was over. It’s not! Would you be interested in a few take aways from my experience managing the disease?
 

Acceptance is really hard. My number one take away is: come to grips with the new you. You are the same, but different. You have an insidious, debilitating disease, but that doesn’t change who you are. You are the same person who has a few limitations. It’s like an “Identity Crisis”. I call this part of the my journey the “Self Discovery” period. Does that make sense?”

Embrace Your Destiny: Be Audacious

Doing yoga on a cruise

“Ms. Lucifer, we’ve been trying to get along for twenty years. You were the audacious one during the first half of our journey. You were bold. You ruled me completely. I’ll admit that you were ever present in my mind. I didn’t like you then. Now, I feel like I have come to terms with you in the second half of our acquaintance. Now, I am being audacious in dealing with you. Don't you like this cool word, "audacious" that I learned in Toastmasters? Toastmasters stimulates my audacity. I’m definitely keeping you at bay.”

Ms. Lucifer was quick to note some setbacks. She said, “As I I recall, being audacious has gotten you into trouble. Aren’t I right? 

Embrace Your Destiny: Just Let Go!

 

My Meditation Place

Ohmmmmm, ohmmmmmm, ohmmm. My singing bowl lulls me into a peaceful meditative state. It feels good to let go, really let go. This is a space where there’s no right or wrong, no judgement, no worries. It’s just an inward focused peace.

 

I started meditating as a mindful healing practice when we lived at North Topsail Beach. I had read about meditation as a good tool to manage symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis. Needing some guidance, I started looking. I didn’t know what I was looking for but when I saw it, I knew. On Wall Street in Asheville, I saw a window display with Singing Bowls in a store with an India motif. I said to Donnie, “Let’s go in and learn about these bowls.”

Embrace Your Destiny: Frustration Happens

We made it to "take off"

Memoir group always gives me a challenge. Recently,  the challenge was to write on Frustration. I said, "Oh good! I can do that in spades." Sure enough, this one was easy. My group said my frustrations and my various strategies for dealing with them spoke volumes about me. Here is my essay:

“Five minutes till take off. Are you ready yet?” I hear this a lot and sometimes, I’m glad to get the time check. Other times it just adds stress, frustration and clumsiness. My biggest frustration for a long time has been my slowness. It seems like my brain kicks in a beat behind  everyone else. Here's what  I’ve learned about me and dealing with my slowness. 

 

 

Embrace Your Destiny: What Is Your Goal?

I needed some inspiration to help me zero in on this blog post. My reader  blog comments did the trick. Inspiration washed over me! Thank you for taking time to comment.

What I strive for everyday is to feel good, happy and motivated. Sometimes before breakfast and hot yoga, I notice aches, pains and worries. Getting locked into my daily routine of yoga, weight work, piano practice, and healthy eating fixes all my issues. 

During this pandemic, it’s more important than ever to remain positive.  A special edition on Multiple Sclerosis of Brain and Life Magazine came in the mail recently. It was packed full of information about the disease that validated everything I do. Furthermore, since I have the Primary Progressive type of MS, I should be slowly deteriorating. My husband Donnie agrees with me that I’m not. i feel better, walk better, have more energy and can do more than when I started this journey twenty years ago.

Embrace Your Destiny: You've Got to Want IT

I wanted IT (normal walking) too much. I did too much. Sure it hurts, but it's suppose too. Listening to my body and my doctor is challenging for me. But, my body brought me to my knees. I acknowledge that I was wrong. The body can humble you better than anything or anybody. When the body says “Enough” that’s pretty much it, at least for me. I was stopped in my tracks. 

Walker, walker, I didn’t plan to bring you back to life so quickly.

Walker, walker, I am keeping you close again, 

You are my best friend again.

I want to leave you sitting, but that’s not safe.

I’d like to ignore the pain and move on strongly. 

But, that's stupid. I’ll keep you close until I’m sure I am stable again.

Embrace Your Destiny: Manage Yourself

In the Arizona desert, October 2019

January  marks twenty years I have been managing Multiple Sclerosis. The first fourteen years I was adjusting to this new me. I learned what to expect from the disease physically, mentally, emotionally and physiologically. It’s a very complex disease. I have the Primary Progressive type of MS.

My biggest issues have always been physical with spasticity, balance and irregular gait being most troublesome. The mental issues are not as obvious. Reflecting back, I had them. I had plenty of physiological issues too. All the symptoms are insidious in that they creep up from nowhere. For example, in the past three years, I noticed that my core has been slowly going to mush.

Toastmasters is part of my cognitive therapy. I’ve competed in the International Speech Contest several times. After much deliberation I decided to compete again. I have something to say about living with and managing a chronic illness. I can use this platform to communicate that you can manage MS and enjoy doing it. In the past five years, slowly but surely, I am improving. First I had to get out of my comfort zone. I tried new therapies and I continued to work hard. 

Embrace Your Destiny: Oh the Places You'll Go

New Year's Eve on the Silhouette

 I love the book by Dr. Seuss Oh, the Places You'll Go! The problem for me is getting the will and courage to take the plunge to go. The fear factor that always gets in the way.

"Places" conjures up destinations. But that's not all the places we can go. Other places we go are personal. These are things like leadership opportunities, relationships, starting a new venture, joining a new group. These personal "places" can be the most challenging of all. The fears, the waiting, the decisions, the setbacks and confusion are still the same.

Recently I've traveled on a cruise to the Eastern Caribbean and islands of the West Indies with Donnie. Then just a short time later I traveled to Laguna Beach for a trip with sister Penni. Both trips to delightful, warm, exotic places. Both also full of challenges.

Embrace Your Destiny: Keep Your Eye on the Prize

Physical Therapy

My prize has always been walking. When I could no longer walk with ease without falling, that's when I had to find out what was wrong. First thing my neurologist had me doing after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis was to see a physical therapist. That was fourteen years ago. At that time, my right ankle seemed to be frozen. My joints were creaky and out of alignment. My balance was really bad. Walking on grass was out of the question. 

Embrace Your Destiny:: Stretch Your Limits

Here I am in Puerto Morelos, Mexico on the long awaited Yoga Retreat. Our studio teacher and owner Adi Westerman and  Janet Horn former teacher and studio owner in Shelby, NC, put together this retreat at the end of last year. It proved to be a wonderful mix of people: city and rural, experienced and novice yogis, and of course age and interests. The glue that bonded us all together was a love of yoga with a healthy respect and admiration for our teachers. The location in the warmth of Mexico and at Casa Om where we stayed also contributed to the fun experience.  

Embrace Your Destiny: Keep Moving - Everyday is Different

One of the fundamental truths we learn in Hot 26 yoga is that our body feels different every single day. It also responds differently. This is Sean, one of our many great teachers at Hot Yoga Asheville, with me after one of my 7:30 AM yoga classes. Sean always reminds us at the end of class that "the most important thing in your life, is your life." I think about that some mornings at 5 AM when the alarm goes off and I feel a bit out of sorts. Luckily, my husband Don also gets up and usually goes with me to yoga. That helps! We all need help sometimes to encourage us to get moving.