Embrace Your Destiny: The Future is Promising

Mealtime with Loleh 

Being on “hold” is so frustrating. We were “on hold” for two and a half months. The whole family has coped well, rallying around the spirit and joy of baby Loleh. While we enjoyed having time with Liz and family, everybody was ready to move on. Liz and Philippe to France and us right here.

This waiting saga started when Liz’s work Visa didn't come and didn't come. Finally it came after a three month wait. Next task was to get airplane tickets.

Liz said, “We got tickets leaving from Asheville next Thursday. Can you take us to the airport around noon?”

Poirot likes my office chair

Donnie said, “Of course! Are you really leaving from Asheville! That's amazing.” Of course, Liz’s Visa was not the end of challenges and waiting. 

During the three month wait, health papers for Poirot, the cat expired. New crisis! We had to find a USDA qualified veterinarian to do a rush certification for a new customer and turn it around from USDA in Washington almost overnight. It was overwhelming. All of our spirits sank to a new low. Up and down again.

Daily yoga practice rebooted my spirits and my body. I would have been a basket case physically, mentally and psychologically. Every morning we set the alarm early enough to do yoga. It’s that important.

Morning yoga in my space

When I get up in the morning, I check in with my body. “What’s going on shoulder? Did I sleep on you wrong? Hip? What’s your deal today? You’ve been being stiff, but you seem worse today. Let’s hope yoga can fix you up. Self, what’ is going on with your sad mind? Why are you sad today? I’m sorry but that’s unacceptable. Let’s have an attitude adjustment during yoga. It can happen if you are open minded.”

We have a favorite yoga YouTube video for hot yoga. We practice with Ron from a studio in Delray Beach. By the time he finishes the four warm-up postures, my shoulders and hips say, “We are doing better. What issues?We are fine now.”

By the time we are on the floor for the first sevasana, I am mellow.  I let go.

Daily walks with Loleh 

Being "on hold" is a distant memory now. I have pictures to remind me of happy times walking with Loleh, playing with Loleh and watching him change everyday. That was very special. 

We are into a different realm of virtual hugs, quick visits on What'sApp, and text messaging to stay connected. We miss them and that special time. However the future is bright. We have a trip planned to see them next Spring. While Loleh is getting stronger, I will be too. My expectation is that he will have fond memories of his time in the country playing with Grandma and Grandpa. His experience here when he visits will be so different than in Paris. We are hopeful he will pester his parents to come visit often!

Embrace Your Destiny: Enjoy the Moment

Bath time leads to nap time

“Goodnight Loleh. We had a great time today. Tomorrow, we’ll play some more. Grandma loves you.” 

After another big day, this is our nightly ritual. Daughter Liz, Philippe and Loleh are staying with us short term while they wait and wait on Liz's French work Visa. Our nightly prize is when Liz brings Loleh after his bath, all squeaky clean to say "goodnight". 

Everyday we wait expectantly to hear, “All aboard for Paris.” When Liz’s Visa comes, they will leave for Paris to live. All the work is done. The packing, moving, and unpacking were completed in two weeks. Their cars have come back to us so title transfers had to be handled. Now we are into “enjoy every moment” mode. We have a short wish list of projects and activities we hope to do before they leave. We got to visit Donnie’s 99 year old mother, in Reidsville and we are playing bridge with "Uncle Bob".  But, time is flying by!

Embrace Your Destiny: Road Tripping - Part 2

 

Donnie and Loleh playing

At the intersection of varied interests and perfect location is where the Conner and Groff families vacationed together for three days. This perfect setting was Loon Mountain Resort in New Hampshire, sister Penni’s family condo. We enjoyed beautiful scenery, hiking, shopping, exercise and relaxing. The best part was having family to help us celebrate our fiftieth anniversary.

We had four days of exploration. Here’s the daily breakdown:

• Wednesday - Burlington, Vermont and UV
• Thursday - Flume Gorge
• Friday - The Cog Railroad 
• Saturday - Day trip to Littleton

Embrace Your Destiny: Enjoy Road Tripping - Part 1

First stop, Annapolis, MD

“Go! Right now you can make it. Hurry. Stomp on the gas, now! Yeah! We made it. Missing this exit is not an option. You handled crossing three lanes nicely.”

We had been in heavy, stop and go traffic for hours. The sign announcing our final route appeared for just a moment. No notice, but I saw it. After we exited the freeway and crossed the bridge into Annapolis the landscape instantly changed from chaotic to calm. Our fiftieth anniversary trip was about to begin.

This was our first serious road trip in years. When we finally cleared our path to take the trip, I said, “Donnie, can we stop in Annapolis that first weekend going up? I’ve been wanting to go there a long time. I just read a story in  Southern Living about where to eat, what to do and all the history. Seems like it should be about halfway to Medfield.” Donnie surprised me when he was all in.

Embrace Your Destiny: Flower Therapy

Bob picking for an order

Brother Bob grows the most magnificent flowers. He and sister-in-law Judy have always said, “Anytime you want flowers, just ask.” Why I never thought to “just ask” for weekly fresh flowers before, I don’t know. 

When we first moved back home in 2012, I helped Judy in the garage preparing flowers for wholesale or retail. For me, this was a course in  Flowers 101. I learned how to care for them, how to prolong freshness and how to arrange. Judy was patient, thorough, and creative. Bob grows the flowers, but Judy was and still is the glue that keeps their business, Poppins Posies going. I always had flowers those summers.

Embrace Your Destiny: Embrace Aging

In Hawaii late 1990's

Wouldn’t it be nice to age without aging? Maturity and wisdom that come with age are great. It’s the physical body breaking down that is troubling. With each new decade some new issue shows up. The bones and feet continue to break down. Throw in a fall and break something or have a bad illness and everything goes sideways.

Embrace Your Destiny: Enjoy Creating

Tomato Plant on Steroids

“Donnie, check this out! It looks a lot like a tomato plant but how can that be? We didn’t plant tomatoes here last year. Should we leave it or let it grow?”

We both agreed to let it grow to see if it was indeed a tomato plant. Confirming didn’t take long. It morphed into a big plant quickly. Now, it is an out of control tomato plant and exactly why we decided not to plant tomatoes in the first place. My handrail is useless!

We’ve enjoyed watching our kitchen garden mature into it’s summer splendor. So far, it’s mostly avoiding beetles, worms, fungus and other pests we don’t know how or what to spray for. We plant marigolds to add color and to keep plant diseases away. Seems to be doing a good job so far. 

Embrace Your Destiny: Find Your Mantra

Relaxing after a big walk

 “You’ve Got This!” I had picked up a small interesting looking book on the counter of Elements Spa in Brevard and it flipped open to this mantra. I was struck by its clear message. I thought, “Wonder if I was meant to see this? Why did it open at this page? Wonder what other mantras are in this little book? Maybe I’ll buy it.” I didn’t have time to peruse it further but noted the title was Mantras for Strong Women.

I tucked this mantra away in my mind as I melted into the pleasure of the warm massaging migun bed. The spa music and whimsical ceiling lights were relaxing and intoxicating. “You’ve got this,” kept coursing through my mind attaching to images and possibilities in this phrase. When Sarah started taking my pulses and talking, clarity struck me. The mish-mash of disconnected ideas had taken shape.  “I need to write about this experience.”

Embrace Your Destiny: Try The Hard Stuff

We just finished getting both vaccine shots

This year seems to be a test. Can I pass Caregiver 101? I already know I’m no good with tending to sensitive family issues and feelings. First, I don’t notice when anyone is having a problem and second, I’m usually at a loss for what to do. 

Donnie is no good with "feeling" issues either, but he does know what to do in a "needs based" situation. He is a "take charge" partner. We muddle through family things equally bad. We try to set low expectations.

Embrace Your Destiny: Time Travel Back

Taken in 2019 in Arizona

I thought it would be fun to travel back in time to talk with young me. Here is some of our  conversation:

“Hey young Judy, do you recognize me? You will be me in twenty years. Sorry about this diagnosis of MS you just received. I remember feeling sad and like my life was over. It’s not! Would you be interested in a few take aways from my experience managing the disease?
 

Acceptance is really hard. My number one take away is: come to grips with the new you. You are the same, but different. You have an insidious, debilitating disease, but that doesn’t change who you are. You are the same person who has a few limitations. It’s like an “Identity Crisis”. I call this part of the my journey the “Self Discovery” period. Does that make sense?”

Embrace Your Destiny: Escape to Gardening

Loleh's smile for Grandma

“Let’s try caladiums in the barrel pot out at the shed. Don’t they take shade?” When I’m feeling sad and still fatigued after family leave, I usually get busy doing something I really enjoy. Baby Loleh, Liz and Philippe brought lots of energy and fun for two nice weeks. They went home, leaving a big empty space here. While I don’t miss the meal planning and preparation, I do miss their company, especially Loleh’s special “Grandma” smile.

This time, the really enjoyable activity I want to do is planting our summer garden. I love everything about this pre-summer ritual. I have been pondering what I might plant for weeks. We only buy and plant herbs, vegetables and flowers that we know we can grow. We are done with tomatoes, beans, vines like cucumber and squash, and anything that gets wormy. We have limited space and scattered success with vegetables. To save ourselves angst, we plant what we know works.