Embrace Your Destiny: Frustration Happens

We made it to "take off"

Memoir group always gives me a challenge. Recently,  the challenge was to write on Frustration. I said, "Oh good! I can do that in spades." Sure enough, this one was easy. My group said my frustrations and my various strategies for dealing with them spoke volumes about me. Here is my essay:

“Five minutes till take off. Are you ready yet?” I hear this a lot and sometimes, I’m glad to get the time check. Other times it just adds stress, frustration and clumsiness. My biggest frustration for a long time has been my slowness. It seems like my brain kicks in a beat behind  everyone else. Here's what  I’ve learned about me and dealing with my slowness. 

 

 

 Like everything else with MS, slowness was insideous. It creeped up on me. In the late 1990’s I noticed that getting cleaned up in the locker room at the gym took longer. In order to get out the door to be at the office in a timely way, I had to start my workout five to ten minutes earlier. That meant setting the alarm earlier. Most weekday mornings we were up at 4:00 am.  

Working out with weights

I was getting slower and slower dressing because dressing requires lifting each leg, while balancing on the other. It often requires reaching behind the back, dealing with zippers and doing tedious make-up work. With fifteen other ladies sharing the same space, it was complicated. MS symptoms like spasticity and stiffness, increases clumsiness. Slower thought processing challenges strength and balance. 

 

Since I have been incorporating strength training and hot yoga into my daily workout, dressing has improved. I have more flexibility and better balance. Sometimes I simply ask for help. A sports bra can be next to impossible to get off a hot, weak, sweaty body!   

Another strategy I use is to keep my clothes simple. Buttons are the devil to deal with so I do pull over blouses. Dresses with zippers down the back are only for special occasions. I’m careful about layered outfits as well. Each layer has to be fitted and adjusted to the body just right before adding the next layer. Jewelry is special. I usually just wear earrings, bracelet and rings I need all the time. Fastening clasps on necklaces or bracelets is just too stressful. I can do it but it takes patience and time. Scarves are a wardrobe lifesaer! I wear them a lot. They are easy and add pizzazz to most outfits.

 

My family support team

Simplifying clothes, improving balance, coordination and patience have been strategies that have helped me deal with frustration, specifically in dressing. The end result is always worth the effort.

 
My family and friends are patient with me. I’m sure my slowness is just as frustrating for my support team as it is for me. They know that rushing me slows me down and that showing impatience isn’t helpful. We are all trying our best to get out the door at the appointed time. We all exercise patience and time tricks to reach our mutual goal.