Embrace Your Destiny: Escape to Gardening

Loleh's smile for Grandma

“Let’s try caladiums in the barrel pot out at the shed. Don’t they take shade?” When I’m feeling sad and still fatigued after family leave, I usually get busy doing something I really enjoy. Baby Loleh, Liz and Philippe brought lots of energy and fun for two nice weeks. They went home, leaving a big empty space here. While I don’t miss the meal planning and preparation, I do miss their company, especially Loleh’s special “Grandma” smile.

This time, the really enjoyable activity I want to do is planting our summer garden. I love everything about this pre-summer ritual. I have been pondering what I might plant for weeks. We only buy and plant herbs, vegetables and flowers that we know we can grow. We are done with tomatoes, beans, vines like cucumber and squash, and anything that gets wormy. We have limited space and scattered success with vegetables. To save ourselves angst, we plant what we know works. 

Embrace Your Destiny: Motivated by Loleh

Side planks with Loleh's help

 “Loleh, you can help me do planks! Watching you gives me power. You make this very hard exercise fun. I LOVE watching you grin at me. Do I make you happy? You sure make me happy.” 

 This has been an every morning ritual since Loleh and Liz have been visiting. Loleh fills the room with his energy and unfortunately, sucks mine from me. By the end of each day, I am exhausted and hopefully in bed by 8:00 pm.

Embrace Your Destiny: Apprendre Français

Sightseeing at WWII Museum

First trip to Paris, we were ignorant tourists. Liz was our guide and navigator. Second trip, we were staying with Liz in Aix.  She was teaching at the university and we were on our own during the day.  I loved Aix and learning about artists who painted there. We went to notable towns and museums and saw lots of antiquity around the Provence Region. Liz planned our itinerary for each day. Over dinner, we reported on all we saw. Somehow, we muddled our way through adventures to Avignon, Nîmes, Saint Remy, Pont du Gard, Marseille, and Arles.

Donnie’s high school French served us well. I was no help at all, but our incompetence did plant a seed in my mind,“Perhaps you should get serious about learning French. Liz will likely spend a lot of time over here with her goals for French.“ I couldn't hear the sounds to correctly say words. My processing time too slow to even do fundamental greetings.

 

Embrace Your Destiny: Consider What's Possible

 

Walking up driveway

I am obsessed with walking. It’s true. Actually, I have been obsessed for a long time. What I want is comfortable, effortless walking. I remember what it felt like and occasionally, I feel close to that. I started noticing my walking way back before I knew I had MS. By the time I was diagnosed, I had to think about walking constantly.

For twenty years I have been identifying problems. These are the big ones:

 

1. Walking straight without listing to the left.  

2. Picking up my right toe. Flexing the right ankle  

3. Relaxing my shoulders to swing my arms naturally  

4. Looking right and left while walking  

5. Controlling the hyperextended knee 

6. Controlling the toe from kicking out 

PT session with Thomas

Thomas Minton, my Physical Therapist has helped me work on these specific issues. He has been helping me for seven years. Finally, I feel more natural walking most of the time. My knee flexes in coordination with my ankle and foot. I can look right and left and talk at the same time.

 

So, my goals have shifted to focus on improving strength, speed and distance. I use my I-phone heart app to keep track of my progress. Everyday is different. Improvement is slow.

Our driveway is scary. It’s gravel and steep. Going down and up is challenging. I have fallen walking down. Sometimes the gravel slips and slides underfoot. It's easy to get overbalanced when I am not paying attention. I prefer to wait for Donnie to hold onto going down, but occasionally I’ll be audacious and start going down alone. But, I concentrate on each step. “Thomas said to go slow and take small steps. Do the zigzag. This feels okay so far but the slippery area is approaching. Slow down more; take smaller steps. Good, I hear Donnie coming. I’ll just wait here.”

A cool morning walk

Today the temperature was perfect for a morning walk. There was a slight breeze and not hot yet. When I get hot, the nerves literally melt. My leg muscles feel exhausted, heavy and limp.

I wanted to see how I would feel taking a longer morning walk. We had already done hot yoga and then I did a strength workout. When we started I was dubious about meeting my goal. I thought, “Legs, I’m sorry about the workout. Did we do too much? You are already complaining. Well, let's see what you can do.”

The more we walked the better legs seemed to feel. We walked a little beyond where we sometimes turn around. Donnie looked at his watch and said, “We should turn around. Look at the time.” 

I did and said, “Let’s go a little bit farther. I’d like to see if I can make two miles.” After we turned around, I talked to legs again. “I’m impressed. You feel okay right now. Maple Swamp hill will be challenging. It's okay if you start complaining. I expect that so I'll help by concentrating." 

Satisfied rest and water on front porch

That’s when I double down talking to legs. “You’re doing great! I have only noticed a few toe taps, right leg. Left leg, stay strong. This hill is always tough but it’s all downhill after we reach the crest in just a few more strides. We’ll stop for water when we get to the top. It's not much farther and then the big push up the driveway. Don't make Donnie get the car for a rescue. We can do this!”

My distance is slowly increasing. Confidence in my stride is coming back. I know I can walk by myself, where it’s safe. How far I can go at one time is evolving. What I like is feeling empowered and strong each time I beat my distance goal. I like knowing I can handle myself when traveling. And, I like feeling the strength training kicking in. I’ll keep checking my distance average on the I-phone app. I won’t set a limit on what’s possible. Who knows what the next milestone will be? I’m open to all possibilities.